


As your king, as your lover

by HisGlasses



Series: Moments of Ignoct - ficlet collection [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Emotional Hurt, Ficlet, I don't know if there is actually any comfort, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, older!Ignis, older!noctis, sad and sappy stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 17:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14430816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisGlasses/pseuds/HisGlasses
Summary: At their last camp before heading to Insomnia, Ignis cracks. But Noctis doesn't let him.





	As your king, as your lover

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for "You owe me", requested anonymously on tumblr.
> 
> This ran so far away from me, I can't even.  
> Now all that's left for me to do is hope you enjoy some sappy angst...

“No, Noct, please..."

Ignis’ voice was shaking. His ever steady mask was beginning to crack, revealing the fear and pain that had been relentlessly accumulating for the past ten years, from the moment when they had thought to have lost Noctis to the Crystal.  
No. From the moment the Oracle’s canine messenger had delivered him what would come to pass, the fate of Noctis, his king, his friend and his lover.

“I can’t... go on without you.”

Noctis compassionately shook his head, the smile on his face only betrayed by creased brows that framed his eyes with sadness.  
“Ignis, we _both_ know that this is a lie”, he murmured, gently tugging away one of the ash brown wayward strands behind his adviser’s ear. Before he retreated his hand again, he softly cradled the marred half of Ignis’ face, carefully running his thumb over the uneven scar tissue.  
“It is not a problem of your capability. I know you _can_.”

“Oh bloody hell, _Noct_!”  
A dry and incredulous sob escaped Ignis throat. “This is not the time to be bickering about words.”

“I’ve always been like that. Doing inappropriate things? Guess that didn’t really change.”  
Noctis huffed out a weak laugh.  
“You know I’m right though.”

“I know full well!”  
Of course he knew but admitting it didn’t make it any better. Not that much worse either though. “If you need me to, then... let me rephrase what I meant to say.”  
Ignis drew in a sharp breath through his nose. He pursed his lips to hide the quiver that was taking control over his lower lip, a last effort to keep this egoistic thought for himself. The effort was futile.

“I don’t _want_ to go on without you. Noct, you are what kept me alive through all of this. All those years I was only able to pull through because I knew, I _knew_ you’d come back. Even if the time was limited I...”  
Ignis’ voice had grown urgent and he swallowed hard to catch another breath.  
“Gods above, I ached to be with you.”

“There we have it”, Noctis murmured calmly with his steady, husky voice. The mismatched smile was still unwavering on his face when he guided Ignis’ head to rest on his shoulder with a firm but gentle hand.  
As soon as the forehead had found its place, leather gloved fingers messily clawed into Noctis’ black shirt and ungracious sobs were rattling the body of his beloved adviser. A body he knew by heart. Yet not a single time he had seen it crumble under the weight of its own soul, haunted and pained by the dark that had been whispering wicked threats for what had seemed to be an eternity.  
Noctis wrapped his own arms around Ignis’ broad shoulders and closed their gap. His hands were delicately dancing over the taller man’s shoulder blades, drawing calming patterns on his back, just like the runes that were keeping the haven at peace.  
He could not say how long it was that he held Ignis safe in his arms but he held him until his tears had run dry.

A cool breeze was swaying the scarce leftovers of vegetation.

“Ignis?”

“Yes?”  
His voice came out hoarse and powerless.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Everything.”

“Did you know that it would end like this?”

Ignis swallowed around the lump in his throat.  
“Yes.”

“I see.”  
Noctis had his arms still wrapped tightly around Ignis and leaned his head towards the messy pompadour that had been brushing against his cheek.

“And.. you didn’t tell me?”

“I... feared it to become true if I worded it. Instead I was determined to find a way to change that vision, so you would never have to ultimately face it... I am devastated to see that I utterly failed you.”

“Hmm...” Noctis’ fingers stilled.  
“Say...”

“Yes?”

“Knowing all this, have you... Have you been planning to put an end to you after I... when the dawn breaks?”

A moment of silence. Then a faint and shaky breath.

“Yes.”

A flash of pain jolted over Noctis’ face, leading him to grip Ignis only tighter. But he couldn’t be the one to loose his cool. Not now. Not when Ignis needed him to be strong. And he would show him that he was. He swallowed hard to drown the sob that was creeping up his throat. Brows strictly drawn together in a harsh line he took a deep breath of his own.

“Ignis Scientia.”  
Noctis pulled away, still tightly gripping his adviser’s shoulders and stared into his unseeing, misty eyes, their lively spark having died down not long after having been robbed of their sight.  
“Tell me, do you honour your king?”

Ignis was confused by the sudden change of tone.  
“Noct, what are you－”

“Answer me. Do you. Honour. Your king”, Noctis repeated, accentuating each word with regal severity.

The adviser broke off at the sound of his king’s voice, clasped a hand above his heart and inclined his head.  
“I honour and love him deeply, Your Majesty.”

“Are you _loyal_ to your king?”

“There is nothing in the world that could make me betray his word. I swore to devote my everything to him.”

If Ignis still had had his sight he would have seen Noctis’ troubled face, eyes full of sadness and love, lips quivering in synchronicity to the desperate throbbing of his pulse. But it didn’t escape him how Noctis cleared his throat to cover up his sniffling and how his voice sounded different afterwards. It had lost its edge for a fondness that squeezed his heart.

“This is all I need to know.”  
When Noctis let go of Ignis’ shoulders, the latter reached out, trying to grasp something invisible, fearing that Noctis would just dissolve if he let him go now. But he didn’t.  
Noctis placed a gentle hand on his adviser’s heart.  
“Ignis, will you swear another oath to me? One more, before... before the sun rises?”

The man took a hold of Noctis, placing his own hand above his.  
“Anything.”

“Do you mean it?”

A weak smirk was playing around Ignis’ lips.  
“Did I do anything to be questioned, Your Majesty?”

“No. No...”, Noctis huffed.  
“But I needed to make sure. I know you are going to hate this. This is going to seem like torture to you. Yet, this is the last thing I will ever ask of you.”

“Don’t say that.”  
Ignis closed his hand around Noctis’ tightly.

“Ignis, I ask you to live and see the world through the new dawn. I need you here to get things back into order when I am not here to do so. You know I’d be terrible at this and you’d have to do all the work anyways, right?”

Ignis bit his lip till it split open and a faint coppery taste emerged on his tongue.

“So”, Noctis continued, “please Ignis, stay. And don’t worry; I’ll be by your side with every step. I will continue to be your light in the dark, just as I have been for the past years. You told me so yourself, right? Just in that exact way.”

“But it won’t...”  
Ignis voice broke.  
“It won’t be the same. You will not be coming back anymore.”

“Yeah, that much is true I guess”, Noctis said wistfully.  
“This time, _I_ will be the one waiting for you, just as you did when I have been gathering my strength in the Crystal. This time, it will be _you_ , gathering your strength on your way until we meet again in the beyond.”

“But you don’t have to wait, Noct! I can cut this time short, I－”

“No. I thought so too when Bahamut held me in the Crystal. Get out there faster, get back to you. But it wouldn’t have been the same. I had tasks to complete beforehand, and so do you now, Ignis.”  
Noctis took a step closer.  
“Don’t you dare step in the sight of your king until your tasks are done.” What sounded like a threat in words rang with the warm echo of a lover’s silent plead.

“But－”

“You cannot refuse, Ignis”, Noctis said calmly, smiling as he leaned against the crook of Ignis’ neck. “You swore an oath to your king. You owe me.”

It hurt. But it was so like him.  
Ignis wanted to be angry, yell at Noctis for using that low of a trick to trap him, but he just couldn’t. Instead, a sense of pride blossomed in his heart at the realisation that the once grumpy prince had fully taken up his father’s legacy.

“You have grown such a fine man”, he whispered fondly, not able to stop the bitter tears from running down his cheeks again.

“Swear it, Ignis.” Noctis voice had finally started shaking too.  
“Swear to not abandon this promise, in both good and bad times. That you will continue to walk tall with grace and pass on the stories to the future generations; that you will carry the memory of me in your heart until death itself decides to guide you back home, like it did with me.”

“I do”, Ignis replied shakily. “I vow to carry out this task given to me. And that I shall not step into the sight of my king before he deems it good.”

Their talking ended as Noctis then reached up to kiss Ignis’ lips, taking in the taste of copper and salt before completely melting into it, pretending this moment to be infinite.


End file.
